I can never like smoking. I would not want to.
It smells horrific and it is bad for you.
But it sure would help in being in the fraternity of male leadership.
As a woman leader, I have those thoughts of wanting to smoke with the guys
so that I can feel more accepted in their circles.
How often I feel excluded in the informal ways that decisions are made.
And I am not in that inner circle!
Is it my own insecurity? Or is it that it is a crummy way to feel about yourself
in the gender mix. Do men ever feel this way?
I just want to be me and be free to lead and serve
without feeling apologetic for myself or feeling like an
outsider or being marginalized.
Reading ” The Lost Women of the Bible” by Carolyn Curtis James
teaches me that it ought not be so. That God has designed men and women
to be involved in the Blessed Alliance. And that anything short of that will hinder
Experiences like these leave me to wonder away from my vision…
I long to be just at a place where I can lead and use my own giftings.
I don’t want to have to fight to be a part of the ‘in’ crowd.
I really should continue to look into starting up a company or ministry.
That seems like the easy solution? Or is it?